Basic Counseling Skills
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  • A. TECHNIQUES
  • Pattern of Sessions
  • Active Listening
  • Body Language
  • Asking Questions
  • Paraphrasing/Tone
  • Summary
  • Note Taking
  • Homework
  • Goodie Bag/Fun Stuff
  • Technique References
  • B. THEORIES
  • Client Centered
  • Holistic/Biopsychosocial
  • Strengths Based
  • Cognitive/Behavioral
  • Solution Focused
  • Existential Therapy
  • Letting Go
  • Theory References
  • C. SAMPLE SESSIONS
  • 1. Client Centered Counseling
  • 2.&3. No Show/Cancellation
  • 4. Strengths Based
  • 5. Cognitive Beh. Counseling
  • 6. Holistic Health Counseling
  • 7. Solution Focused
  • 8. Existential Counseling
  • 9. Becoming Unnecessary
  • D. SELF HELP
  • Journaling
  • Mood Mapping
  • Whole Health Check In
  • Community Resources
  • Ten Things I Like About Me
  • Common Lies We Tell
  • Goal-Setting
  • A Why to Bear a How
  • Happy People
  • Self-Help References
  • E. CONTINUING EDUCATION
  • F. SITE MAP
  • G. CONTACT ME!
  • H. Readers Contributions
    • Articles >
      • Addiction and Sleep - Jessica S >
        • Alcohol Counseling - Carol G.
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        • Document Anxiety through Journaling - Sally W
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        • 4 Journaling Tips for Beginners - Shristi Patni
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        • Recall Report - Laura P.
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        • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Sally W.
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        • Nutrition to Help Anxiety - Sally W
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        • Geriatric Counseling - Sally W
        • Counseling Seniors with Anxiety - Sally W
        • Senior Resources - Claire S.
        • Addiction and Sleep - Jessica S
        • Better Sleep - Better Health - Cheryl C
        • Treating Insomnia - Sally W
        • Tuck Sleep - Kellen S
        • De-Fogging Brain - Sally W
        • Recovery from Sports Injury
        • Improving Mental Clarity - Sally W
        • Indoor Air Quality Can Affect Mental Health - Sally W
        • Stress on Health - Sally W.
        • Stress Management - Sally W
        • Suicidal Thoughts and Alcohol Abuse - Julia W
        • Summer Side Gigs for Teachers - Joyce W
        • Tobacco in 2017 - Mary G.
        • Take Control of Your Life - Dorothy Watson
        • No More Winter Blues - Rufus Carter
        • How I Put Anxiety Attacks on Pause
        • 8 Effective Tips for Improving Mental Health - Camille Johnson
        • Manage And Reduce Stress For Your Employees With These Tips - Rufus Carters
        • Moving Forward When Grief Intrudes in Your Life - Camille J
        • Working Remotely - Emma Grace Brown
        • Unlock Greater Confidence - Rufus Carter
        • Coping With a Mid-Life Crisis - Rufus Carter
        • 6 Self-Care Tips - Laurie Abner
        • Help a Loved One After the Loss of a Spouse - Rufus CarterNew Page
        • Relocating After a Tragic Loss - Lucille Rosetti
        • Guidelines for Teens Who Want to Thrive as Entrepreneurs - Lucille Rosetti
        • 5 Common Lifestyle Habits That Can Cause Skin Damage - Andrew Mark
        • What to Do if a Loved One Is Battling Addiction
        • From Addiction Recovery to Financial Independence
        • Major Life Transition - Ryan Randolph
        • Find Your True Path - Ryan Randolk
        • Officers Coping With PTSD - Ryan Randolph
        • Self-Care Secrets for the Rookie Caregiver - Ryan Randolf
        • Self-Care Building Blocks for Improving Your Mental Health - Cheryl Conklin
        • Avoiding Burnout in the Counseling Profession
  • Reset Your Day Without Burning Out
  • The Big 6 Personality Traits
  • When Everything Breaks, Something Begins - Holli Richardson
  • Simple, Sustainable Gifting
  • Reinventing Yourself After Divorce
  • Seasonal Self-Care - Holli Richardson
  • Creative Work Breaks the Stress Loop - ​ Holli Richardson
  • Midlife Moving - Holli Richardson
  • How Small Businesses Can Successfully Compete With The Giants - Richard Mayer
  • Home Renovations Can Boost Your Clients’ Mental and Physical Health
  • Student Wellbeing on School Ski Trips
  • Use Technology Mindfully to Reconnect
  • Designing the Perfect Home Gym Climate for Mental Clarity
  • Resilient Life That Handles Any Disruption
  • Boost Your Mood with Simple Creative Wellness Practice
  • ​Existential Therapy Techniques for Finding Meaning and Purpose While Living with Chronic Depression and Lyme Disease
  • Mastering Mental Resilience: Strengthen Your Mind for Life's Uncertainty - Holly Richardson
  • ​Finding Financial Peace When Money Worries Weigh on Your Mind - Lucille Rosetti
  • ​Unlock Joy and Beat Burnout by Adding Playful Whimsy to Your Life - Kimberly N. Bryant
  • Emotional Resilience in Everyday Life: Practical Ways to Handle Stress and Change - Ella Taylor
  • ​How Therapeutic Journaling Can Improve Your Mental Clarity and Boost Overall Body Wellness - Sara W
  • Essential Counseling Techniques for Supporting Clients Managing Chronic Depression and Anxiety
  • How a Calmer Home Can Support a Calmer Mind
  • How to Make Everyday Feel Like a Relaxing Vacation
  • Make Difficult Life Decisions With Greater Self-Awareness

 How to Make Difficult Life Decisions With Greater Self-Awareness - Ella Taylor

There is nothing as scary as making a big life decision. The stakes are high, the time might be limited, and the consequences might seem horrible. However, this kind of thinking can be detrimental for your health, mental state, and the decision you are trying to make.

Great expectations, past experiences, and even other people’s opinions can make it even harder for you to come to a decision. Fortunately, there are ways to manage this kind of pressure and start making better decisions, no matter how big the question is or how great your self-awareness is.

Why Make Decisions Difficult?

The answer is simple - your expectations are what makes any decision easy or hard. If you feel like the stakes are too high, you’ll probably postpone making the decision. Another thing that could make the decision hard is having two or more options that you feel weigh the same.

The third most common option that makes decision making hard is if the potential decision brings unhelpful memories and fears. When a situation reminds you of something disappointing or hurtful in the past, it’s natural to procrastinate reaching a decision. 

Avoiding Decisions

Speaking of procrastination, this may seem like an easy road to take. However, even not making a certain decision is a decision in itself. When you don’t choose one of the options, the choice is actually being made for you.

Most often, you will lose the chance to make a choice, and the circumstances will do the decision-making for you. On the other hand, you may cause yourself even more harm by doing nothing, as waiting for the decision could be painful.

Do Some Introspection

How can you make better decisions? Firstly, you’ll have to spend some time with introspection. Identifying the parts of yourself that want different things would be the perfect first step.

It is normal that different options seem appealing to you, considering that you have multiple parts that wish for different things. Perhaps the best way to identify these parts is to journal or, at least, write down all your values and desires.

Distance Yourself from the Issue or Decision

When you are under a lot of pressure, one thing that will make the situation worse is adding to that pressure. This is exactly what you do when you start obsessing over a decision or an issue. That is why it’s essential to create some distance from it in order to look at it better.
Even when looking at a picture, you sometimes have to step away to see it better. The same applies to decision making processes. Whenever you can, try to gain a new perspective and make life easier for yourself.

Think Outside the Box

One particularly interesting thing about inability to make a decision is that sometimes all your options might feel terribly limiting. If that is the case, try thinking harder - maybe there is an option you still haven’t discovered.

One of the best ways to think outside the box is to think like a child. Try coming into a problem or a question with no preconceived notions and look at the way your mind discovers completely new ways to deal with issues.

Pay Attention to Your Objectives

Identifying different parts of yourself is crucial for defining your values, that are, then, important for setting your objectives. When you have a strong sense of self, it’s easier to make decisions that align with who you are as a person.

Not only that, but knowing what you want to achieve will immediately steer you and your decision in the right way.

Compare Various Options

Being a little methodical will never hurt. While it’s not great to over-rationalise anything, approaching your decision making in a scientific way could help. For instance, when deciding on where to get scoliosis surgery in Australia, consider everything from symptoms and treatment options to benefits and risks should be taken into account.

Make sure to methodically assess all of your possible options and then compare them. Weighing them against each other will be a perfect way to eliminate those that don’t fit your idea and narrow the choice down as much as possible.

Listen to Your Gut

Even if your mind is sometimes not sure, your body will know what the right option is. By practicing mindfulness and meditating, you may be able to start listening to your inner voice more.

Intuition is a strong force that will most often tell you whether you are right about something or not. Make sure to carefully listen and figure out what your body tells you to achieve only the best.

Start Making Micro-Decisions

A good way to start is by making micro-decisions instead of trying to fix something major early on. For instance, you want to buy an apartment, but you’re not sure how much you want to spend on it.
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Try breaking this into smaller decisions. For starters, decide on the potential location of the apartment. Then, figure out the size of the ideal apartment for yourself. Consider whether you will be living alone, with a partner, or some roommates. Combining all of these smaller decisions will allow you to set a realistic budget and decide on the sum you are willing to spend on your future place. 

Handle the Pressure

Finally, don’t give in to pressure; find ways to handle it. For instance, giving yourself enough space to think or focusing on the things you can control are great ways to keep a calm head.
You should also be able to not expect a perfect outcome and you could create a deadline to further reduce the pressure.

Conclusion

Decision making is a skill that takes time to learn. However, with these simple tricks, you’ll be able to reach your decisions in a much more efficient and effective way than ever before.
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