Basic Counseling Skills
  • Home
  • A. TECHNIQUES
  • Pattern of Sessions
  • Active Listening
  • Body Language
  • Asking Questions
  • Paraphrasing/Tone
  • Summary
  • Note Taking
  • Homework
  • Goodie Bag/Fun Stuff
  • Technique References
  • B. THEORIES
  • Client Centered
  • Holistic/Biopsychosocial
  • Strengths Based
  • Cognitive/Behavioral
  • Solution Focused
  • Existential Therapy
  • Letting Go
  • Theory References
  • C. SAMPLE SESSIONS
  • 1. Client Centered Counseling
  • 2.&3. No Show/Cancellation
  • 4. Strengths Based
  • 5. Cognitive Beh. Counseling
  • 6. Holistic Health Counseling
  • 7. Solution Focused
  • 8. Existential Counseling
  • 9. Becoming Unnecessary
  • D. SELF HELP
  • Journaling
  • Mood Mapping
  • Whole Health Check In
  • Community Resources
  • Ten Things I Like About Me
  • Common Lies We Tell
  • Goal-Setting
  • A Why to Bear a How
  • Happy People
  • Self-Help References
  • E. CONTINUING EDUCATION
  • F. SITE MAP
  • G. CONTACT ME!
  • H. Readers Contributions
    • Articles >
      • Addiction and Sleep - Jessica S >
        • Alcohol Counseling - Carol G.
        • Depression and Addiction Rehab - Katherine C
        • Quit Smoking and Alcohol Rehab
        • Reducing Stigma - Patricia S.
        • Suicidal Thoughts and Alcohol Abuse - Julia W
        • Recovery Village - William B.
        • Bereavement Counseling - Sally W
        • Personality Traits - Sally W
        • 3 Solutions to Worst Fears - Paige M
        • 30 Min Reduce Anxiety - Paige M
        • Restorative Power of Arts & Crafts - Sally W
        • 3 Ways - Rid of Sunday Scaries
        • Conquer Fear of Flying - Sally W.
        • Document Anxiety through Journaling - Sally W
        • Career Options - Sally W
        • School Counselor ToolKit - Serena K.
        • Psychology Degrees - Lindsay F
        • Depression and Addiction Rehab - Katherine C
        • Diagnosing Depression - Melissa M
        • PostPartum Depression - Tracey F
        • Assisted Living Options for People with Disabilities
        • Wheelchair Home Safety - Michael M
        • Cerebral Palsy Resources
        • Counseling and Persistent Pain - Sally W
        • Mesothelioma Guide - Corine F.
        • Mesothelioma Resources
        • Finding Start Up Success - Eva B
        • Cleaning House for Better Health - Cheryl C.
        • Destress/Clean Home - Cheryl C
        • Financial Stress - Sally W.
        • Financial Debt - Sally W
        • Be Happy - Hazel G.
        • Gut Health & Mental Health - Sally W
        • How Having a Skincare Routine
        • Counseling the Impoverished - Sally W
        • Conquering Interviews - Eva B
        • Daily Journal Routine - Paige M
        • 4 Journaling Tips for Beginners - Shristi Patni
        • Drug Dangers - Rebecca P.
        • Recall Report - Laura P.
        • Living Mindfully - Mollie Wilson
        • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Sally W.
        • Couns. Resources - Tim C.
        • Practical Financial SKills - Johanne H
        • Nutrition to Help Anxiety - Sally W
        • Retirement Career Change - Sally W
        • Managing Phobias - Sally W
        • Healing Power of Pets - Sally W
        • Geriatric Counseling - Sally W
        • Counseling Seniors with Anxiety - Sally W
        • Senior Resources - Claire S.
        • Addiction and Sleep - Jessica S
        • Better Sleep - Better Health - Cheryl C
        • Treating Insomnia - Sally W
        • Tuck Sleep - Kellen S
        • De-Fogging Brain - Sally W
        • Recovery from Sports Injury
        • Improving Mental Clarity - Sally W
        • Indoor Air Quality Can Affect Mental Health - Sally W
        • Stress on Health - Sally W.
        • Stress Management - Sally W
        • Suicidal Thoughts and Alcohol Abuse - Julia W
        • Summer Side Gigs for Teachers - Joyce W
        • Tobacco in 2017 - Mary G.
        • Take Control of Your Life - Dorothy Watson
        • No More Winter Blues - Rufus Carter
        • How I Put Anxiety Attacks on Pause
        • 8 Effective Tips for Improving Mental Health - Camille Johnson
        • Manage And Reduce Stress For Your Employees With These Tips - Rufus Carters
        • Moving Forward When Grief Intrudes in Your Life - Camille J
        • Working Remotely - Emma Grace Brown
        • Unlock Greater Confidence - Rufus Carter
        • Coping With a Mid-Life Crisis - Rufus Carter
        • 6 Self-Care Tips - Laurie Abner
        • Help a Loved One After the Loss of a Spouse - Rufus CarterNew Page
        • Relocating After a Tragic Loss - Lucille Rosetti
        • Guidelines for Teens Who Want to Thrive as Entrepreneurs - Lucille Rosetti
        • 5 Common Lifestyle Habits That Can Cause Skin Damage - Andrew Mark
        • What to Do if a Loved One Is Battling Addiction
        • From Addiction Recovery to Financial Independence
        • Major Life Transition - Ryan Randolph
        • Find Your True Path - Ryan Randolk
        • Officers Coping With PTSD - Ryan Randolph
        • Self-Care Secrets for the Rookie Caregiver - Ryan Randolf
        • Self-Care Building Blocks for Improving Your Mental Health - Cheryl Conklin
        • Avoiding Burnout in the Counseling Profession
  • Reset Your Day Without Burning Out
  • The Big 6 Personality Traits
  • When Everything Breaks, Something Begins - Holli Richardson

Sessions Two and Three - No Show and Cancellation

Session Two - No Show

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Sessions don't always go the way you think they will and in this case, Mary's a "no show" for session two. She doesn’t call or email for a cancellation – she just doesn't show. When Joan first started counseling, she took this very personally – thought there was something terribly wrong with her.

Now Joan is more careful to remember that this is about the client, not her. If the client was not happy with the session, she had the option of changing counselors.

Still, Joan cares – she knows Mary is feeling so low. So she puts a call in to Mary – and gets the answering machine. She leaves a friendly message, “Hi Mary! It’s Joan. We had a meeting today at 2 pm. It’s now 2:15. If you would like to rebook, you are welcome to call the front desk at #4321 and ask them to let me know you have rebooked." If Mary didn’t have a private phone, Joan would have sent her an email.

Joan would dearly love to know if Mary had booked a health appointment – but doesn’t have a permission to release information form filled out to request this information. The downside of client confidentiality is that – without written permission – you cannot go asking around.

Joan is also aware that sometimes all a person needs is to be heard, to be really heard. By admitting they have a problem, reflecting on it, saying it out loud, and getting some perspective – that’s all some folks need to start resolving the issues. Perhaps this is what has happened.



Session Three - Cancellation

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Mary called in a cancellation in advance. All clients are informed by reception if they miss two appointments in a row, they will have to provide reasonable explanation for why this happened – in writing. Curiously, Mary didn’t cancel her fourth appointment. Yet she hasn’t contacted Joan either.

And then, a few days later, Joan gets an email. “Joan, I’m sorry I didn’t show up for our second appointment and I had to cancel the third. I was just feeling so lousy I couldn’t face it. After our first appointment I felt really good. Like I could beat this. And then ‘boom’ – I felt worse than ever."

"I did go see the doctor and he recommended an antidepressant as well as counseling. That really p*ssed me off too. But today I had a moment of clarity – I felt like I used to. So I called the pharmacy and got the prescription filled. The pharmacist insisted on talking to me. I was hoping for a ‘magic bullet’ – that if I took this today, I would feel better right away. She told me that antidepressants work best in conjunction with counseling and was insistent that I take a list of counseling services with me."

"Tra-da! The university’s counseling service was listed. I mentioned your name and she knew of you. So I’m back! See ya Tuesday! Oh yeah, and thanks for calling.”

Joan writes back a friendly short email. “Hello Mary, I am very glad to hear from you. Good for you for seeing the doctor and following up with the meds. I look forward to seeing you soon! BEST! / joan”This pattern of disappearing after a first or second session is not the norm, but neither is it unusual. Clients feel such relief in getting something off their chest and think this feeling will continue – and then the clouds come back. They can feel discouraged, even angry. All of us like quick fixes, but life isn’t like that. Building and maintain good health – physical, social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual and vocational – is a full time endeavor!

Joan has made a point of building a rapport with the university clinic’s health team and with the pharmacy team at a local store. In this way she has people she can comfortably contact regarding medical questions and her clients already have a known team to go to. But as importantly, she keeps in touch with student associations, the university psychologist, off campus mental health clinics, and other community services.

As you see, Joan always has homework too!

And by the way, Joan will never know if Mary actually did take the prescribed medication. Sometimes just knowing that one could if one needed to, is all a person needs.



Eighty percent of success is showing up. - Woody Allen
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