Basic Counseling Skills
  • Home
  • A. TECHNIQUES
  • Pattern of Sessions
  • Active Listening
  • Body Language
  • Asking Questions
  • Paraphrasing/Tone
  • Summary
  • Note Taking
  • Homework
  • Goodie Bag/Fun Stuff
  • Technique References
  • B. THEORIES
  • Client Centered
  • Holistic/Biopsychosocial
  • Strengths Based
  • Cognitive/Behavioral
  • Solution Focused
  • Existential Therapy
  • Letting Go
  • Theory References
  • C. SAMPLE SESSIONS
  • 1. Client Centered Counseling
  • 2.&3. No Show/Cancellation
  • 4. Strengths Based
  • 5. Cognitive Beh. Counseling
  • 6. Holistic Health Counseling
  • 7. Solution Focused
  • 8. Existential Counseling
  • 9. Becoming Unnecessary
  • D. SELF HELP
  • Journaling
  • Mood Mapping
  • Whole Health Check In
  • Community Resources
  • Ten Things I Like About Me
  • Common Lies We Tell
  • Goal-Setting
  • A Why to Bear a How
  • Happy People
  • Self-Help References
  • E. CONTINUING EDUCATION
  • F. SITE MAP
  • G. CONTACT ME!
  • H. Readers Contributions
    • Articles >
      • Addiction and Sleep - Jessica S >
        • Alcohol Counseling - Carol G.
        • Depression and Addiction Rehab - Katherine C
        • Quit Smoking and Alcohol Rehab
        • Reducing Stigma - Patricia S.
        • Suicidal Thoughts and Alcohol Abuse - Julia W
        • Recovery Village - William B.
        • Bereavement Counseling - Sally W
        • Personality Traits - Sally W
        • 3 Solutions to Worst Fears - Paige M
        • 30 Min Reduce Anxiety - Paige M
        • Restorative Power of Arts & Crafts - Sally W
        • 3 Ways - Rid of Sunday Scaries
        • Conquer Fear of Flying - Sally W.
        • Document Anxiety through Journaling - Sally W
        • Career Options - Sally W
        • School Counselor ToolKit - Serena K.
        • Psychology Degrees - Lindsay F
        • Depression and Addiction Rehab - Katherine C
        • Diagnosing Depression - Melissa M
        • PostPartum Depression - Tracey F
        • Assisted Living Options for People with Disabilities
        • Wheelchair Home Safety - Michael M
        • Cerebral Palsy Resources
        • Counseling and Persistent Pain - Sally W
        • Mesothelioma Guide - Corine F.
        • Mesothelioma Resources
        • Finding Start Up Success - Eva B
        • Cleaning House for Better Health - Cheryl C.
        • Destress/Clean Home - Cheryl C
        • Financial Stress - Sally W.
        • Financial Debt - Sally W
        • Be Happy - Hazel G.
        • Gut Health & Mental Health - Sally W
        • How Having a Skincare Routine
        • Counseling the Impoverished - Sally W
        • Conquering Interviews - Eva B
        • Daily Journal Routine - Paige M
        • 4 Journaling Tips for Beginners - Shristi Patni
        • Drug Dangers - Rebecca P.
        • Recall Report - Laura P.
        • Living Mindfully - Mollie Wilson
        • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Sally W.
        • Couns. Resources - Tim C.
        • Practical Financial SKills - Johanne H
        • Nutrition to Help Anxiety - Sally W
        • Retirement Career Change - Sally W
        • Managing Phobias - Sally W
        • Healing Power of Pets - Sally W
        • Geriatric Counseling - Sally W
        • Counseling Seniors with Anxiety - Sally W
        • Senior Resources - Claire S.
        • Addiction and Sleep - Jessica S
        • Better Sleep - Better Health - Cheryl C
        • Treating Insomnia - Sally W
        • Tuck Sleep - Kellen S
        • De-Fogging Brain - Sally W
        • Recovery from Sports Injury
        • Improving Mental Clarity - Sally W
        • Indoor Air Quality Can Affect Mental Health - Sally W
        • Stress on Health - Sally W.
        • Stress Management - Sally W
        • Suicidal Thoughts and Alcohol Abuse - Julia W
        • Summer Side Gigs for Teachers - Joyce W
        • Tobacco in 2017 - Mary G.
        • Take Control of Your Life - Dorothy Watson
        • No More Winter Blues - Rufus Carter
        • How I Put Anxiety Attacks on Pause
        • 8 Effective Tips for Improving Mental Health - Camille Johnson
        • Manage And Reduce Stress For Your Employees With These Tips - Rufus Carters
        • Moving Forward When Grief Intrudes in Your Life - Camille J
        • Working Remotely - Emma Grace Brown
        • Unlock Greater Confidence - Rufus Carter
        • Coping With a Mid-Life Crisis - Rufus Carter
        • 6 Self-Care Tips - Laurie Abner
        • Help a Loved One After the Loss of a Spouse - Rufus CarterNew Page
        • Relocating After a Tragic Loss - Lucille Rosetti
        • Guidelines for Teens Who Want to Thrive as Entrepreneurs - Lucille Rosetti
        • 5 Common Lifestyle Habits That Can Cause Skin Damage - Andrew Mark
        • What to Do if a Loved One Is Battling Addiction
        • From Addiction Recovery to Financial Independence
        • Major Life Transition - Ryan Randolph
        • Find Your True Path - Ryan Randolk
        • Officers Coping With PTSD - Ryan Randolph
        • Self-Care Secrets for the Rookie Caregiver - Ryan Randolf
        • Self-Care Building Blocks for Improving Your Mental Health - Cheryl Conklin
        • Avoiding Burnout in the Counseling Profession
  • Reset Your Day Without Burning Out
  • The Big 6 Personality Traits
  • When Everything Breaks, Something Begins - Holli Richardson

Letting Go and Moving Forward

Counselor

Much has been written about the client’s need re letting go so they can move forward. Counselors need practice too. (This link is to The Counseling Practicum and Internship Manual: A Resource by Shannon Hodges.) It occasionally happens that a counselor becomed very attached to a client. She or he is bright, wants to try new things, complimentary, and considerate. You feel this person has become your friend – but whereas a counselor can have a friendly in-office relationship with a client – that’s where it ends.
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Most professional associations do not endorse counselor-client relationships outside of the counseling setting, or any behavior – in or out of the workplace - which may violate professional boundaries.

How do we let go emotionally? Well, how do we encourage clients to let go? We tell them it’s ok to acknowledge or grieve a loss – they can talk about it or write about it in a journal or both. But then at some point it’s time. Somehow something inside of us says, “Time to stop this now, or at least wind it down somewhat.”

What I find works well in a variety of “loss” situations is to take on something new – something we might now otherwise have been able to, or even thought of. In counseling, there is always something or someone new to “taken on.” There are always more clients than there are counselors, there are always good causes that need fresh volunteers.


Clients

It can also happen that a client need to be “weaned.” Most clients will either drop out of counseling or, having down some of the work they needed to do, be happy to move on. A few will develop new challenges and you may suspect this is happening because they see you as their friend or parent – which you are not. How do they let go emotionally? Give them the space to talk about how it feels to be at the end of their allotted number of sessions. (They knew the number at the beginning so this comes as no surprise.) They can journal. But also build into your “wind-down” session(s) the continuing need to find and develop social supports. These can be self-help groups like Bereavement or AA; it could be a church family or a community club.

The person needs to know that s/he can always drop you a line by email or snail mail and your former client has from the first session a list of all the community resources available – mental health and recreational.

I give a graduation gift – a Frisbee! I pick up a number of these at a local dollar store in a variety of colors. I can put a fun or inspirational sticker on it. I choose Frisbees because you can play Frisbee all year long. It gets people outside and you need another person to do it with. Or several. If my client was a senior, I would give a craft package that required two people to do it.

Example

See Final Visit Pattern.

Further Reading and Videos

Books

"Counseling is Like..." by Margaret Ross, Trafford Publishing, 2003

Video

Very sweet short clip of a family acting out "Hello, Goodbye" by the Beatles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Alv0YQ52gQ


There are things that we never want to be letting go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.
Child with Kitten
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